What do you do in Auroville? I work on my Self.

I have so much to share about my progress, thoughts, and personal transformation, but I do not have the time right now to write that all down just yet. Here is a day-by-day summary of the rest of my time in Auroville before traveling north.

Here's an even shorter summary if you want to skip the day-by-day: From March 15 to April 1, I buckled down on yoga and started attending classes much more often. Same with meditation - I would go on my own to Matrimandir and the banyan tree, especially after acquiring a pass that lets me inside the inner chamber every day. Metta meditation, Hladina healing, and Reiki healing workshops have opened me up to new possibilities of the mind and its relation to energy and soul. There's always the regular stuff too: I hung out with friends, went to some crazy parties, ate the same delicious food. But mostly in this last month before traveling north I developed my willpower and focused on my spiritual path. I have learned how to balance fun with spiritual development, and some of the meditative journeys you can read about below were incredibly transformative. I'll share a more complete analysis of my self-understanding later.

Day 46 – March 15, 2009 – Sunday

Inventory work, 8-man dinner kickit at LT, super meditation with fractal visions of Brahman. Can’t sleep, so I write down three pages on self-understanding and the progress of my spiritual path.

Day 47 – March 16, 2009 – Monday – Msnow’s Birthday

Inventory work, private yoga with Grace & first time doing padmasana (lotus pose), Progress chamber meditation & listening to silence, Reiki healing workshop – meet Pierre and Clarice

Day 48 – March 17, 2009 – Tuesday

Finish inventory work in the stock room of Solar kitchen, acquire a daily pass to Matrimandir, meditate inside, plenty of reading

Day 49 – March 18, 2009 – Wednesday

Yoga under Bridgette, moped chain breaks / repaired, Matrimandir meditation.
Dinner at Discipline with brownies. The meal consists of pancakes, baked beans, tomato sauce, sweet potatoes, and curd/onion sauce. I put them all together and made "Indian burritos." For dessert we havecookies, jam, banana bread, and nut candies. Lukas, Lucas, Elisabeth, Emmanuel, Tina, Sean, Kara, Felix, and Matthias were there. I meditate in the kitchen and have a spirit journey as an omni-animal shaman rapidly shapeshifting and moving through a forest. Feathers cover my skin, each one takes the shape of different animal. When that fades, mushrooms cover my skin, each one a dream universe which, initially dim, begins to glow as it self-realizes and becomes a mini-utopia. Afterwards I take revenge on the mosquitoes in the kitchen. An attempt at being social again fails, as my mind is still in outer space. I walk off into the woods for a shamanic energy dance. I swirl a ball of energy around my hands and body which gives me kaleidoscopic vision with my eyes closed. When I’m done and I realize being social still isn’t going to work out, I head to the capsule to meditate; Emmanuel is there doing the same. Later, a water fight breaks out and we all get soaked. We make a lot of noise so the neighbors call Sean really pissed off.

Day 50 – March 19, 2009 – Thursday

Move in to Mitra, read, stretch before Matrimandir inner chamber meditation, yoga under Tatiana with Matthias and Tina. Since the Spanish Pavilion dinner event doesn’t have vegetarian food, I eat at Solar Kitchen and share my meditation and journey stories from the night before with Lucas, Liz, Emmanuel, Matthias, and Peter. I am very energetic and vigorous in my description, I feel fully alive.

Day 51 – March 20, 2009 – Friday

Morning yoga at Vertite under Marlena – We feel our emotion body at the start and finish of class, and I went from feeling nothing to love and kindness. I spend a few hours at Café Morgan for breakfast with Tomas discussing writing, Beyond Man, traveling, and synchronicities. I was considering writing a part-autobiography, part science fiction about what happens later in my life, and he suggests that I stay grounded rather than going into outer space. He also says that you can’t begin the real writing without having the end in mind. Not sure if that’s true. After a delicious lunch with Tina, Lukas, and Tomas at the art center, Le Colibri, I take autobiographical notes at Matrimandir before goin inside for meditation, where I sit for almost an hour. A group of friends has a farewell dinner for Tina at La Terrace, then I head out to the Eucalyptus fields for a party. When I get home there is an enormous spider next to my bed, and we have a nice chat.

Day 52 – March 21, 2009 – Saturday

During the Hladina method healing workshop we speak about DNA and theories of how it is affected by light and energy. Sonja shares a story about DDT and how a community refused to ban its use, and when an advocate of DDT consumed a handful to prove that it wasn’t dangerous, he died – and yet DDT is still being used. Then we begin a group guided meditation into the layers of out hearts. First we rotate awareness throughout the parts of the physical body, then feel it as a whole. We are instructed to become aware of our past self, and memories of my immediate past surface. I visualize a tunnel coming out of my body like in Donnie Darko, which takes me through the rest of my history and rapidly through my past lives, which are vague and indiscernible. We are told to ask our past self to give a message, and I hear an inner voice telling me to be a good person through kind acts and full-body awareness, and that I should relax about my spiritual quest as things will come in due time.

The we begin the journey into the layers of the heart. In the first level I have moments of lucid visions, similar to lucid dreaming except very brief. I see floors, walls, windows, and textures with vivid detail. As I am entranced by these visions, I zone out until the group enters the third layer of the heart. Here I enter a fantasy dreamland, where I become an animal oversoul running through the forest. I spawn a stairway of trees from my feet as I am running then take off flying. When I run on the ground, colors come out of my feet and spread through the dirt. We are instructed to enter “the field,” and here I see myself sitting in meditation emanating liquid energy layers, like light bubbles with the colors of the rainbow. I see receptive hands coming out of my heart.

After the workshop I stretch and briefly meditate at the lotus pond underneath Matrimandir. Pizza night at the Youth Center – quite tasty, but I leave to check out a concert and the Eucalyptus fields. Low key night.

Day 53 – March 22, 2009 – Sunday

I have a good talk in the morning with a man named Andrea about books, my story, 2012 and conscious evolution. The lotus pond and banyan tree calm my mind in the afternoon and prepare me for Metta meditation. During the meditation workshop I feel a distinct burning sensation at my third eye kshetram. After a Tibetan dinner at Lhasa with Felix, Sean, Kara, and Vera, I head to Kofi bar with Felix for more grub. We have a nice talk, and when he leaves I chill with Debby, then Barak.

Day 54 – March 23, 2009 – Monday

The day starts with Sivananda yoga under Boris at 6:45am with Matthias, JD, and Felix. After, we share breakfast at Ganesh Bakery. Back at home I do some hip openers with my roommate, Kono, and we have a great talk on vipassana and the observation of the mind. Plenty of reading among other things leads to a Reiki workshop and discussion of the Rainbow gathering in the evening.

Day 55 – March 24, 2009 – Tuesday

Yoga at Verite warms me up for the day. Another Hladina course today, where we are visited by a quantum physicist named Alex. He said that matter is not conscious, and I asked him how he could say that if everything is One and united, making everything conscious. It was a difficult question and he had a hard time answering, but he finally came up with a decent response: even if matter is conscious, it is neutral unless acted upon by another consciousness. He kept reiterating throughout the session that quantum physics only deals with matter, and that once you talk about levels above matter, it is not the science of quantum physics but extrapolations of a different name and nature. We discussed the Philadelphia experiment where this machine punched holes through reality and caused a boat to disappear for a few days. Further, we briefly discussed a new healing technique called Metta medicine, which sounded like scientific shamanism.

Alex, Matthias and I head to the banyan tree to meditate, and JD meets us there. We sit for a little over an hour. My third eye burns briefly, I feel liquidy pressures on the sides of my brain, and I see a spiral lotus over the point on which I am focusing. After dinner I head to a ballroom dancing class, but I leave early as everyone there is so far ahead of me. I chill at Mitra with some people for a while, then JD and Matthias sleep over.

Day 56 – March 25, 2009 – Wednesday

More morning yoga and hip openers back at home. I buy a handbag and glasses in Kuilapalayam after getting my cell phone back, still not repaired. After a good talk with Matthias about Watchment, bringing the supramental into the physical, social dynamics, the role of the connector, and education reform, I partake in a brief lotus pond meditation. Matrimandir beckons me inside, and I sit for 45 minutes, then head to Metta meditation at Verite.

Day 57 – March 26, 2009 – Thursday – Yoga power

Yoga to start the day, hip openers at home, read and finish Beyond Man, then return books to the library. Kono lends me a book about Vipassana, which I start reading. Matrimandir for 35 minutes. Another yoga class in the afternoon under Tatiana – my first time doing two yoga sessions in one day. The second session is difficult but I feel that I should do two in one day far more often. In the evening I watch an inspirational Spanish film called Un Buda, about a man’s spiritual quest. He is at a club with his girlfriend and has flashbacks of his late father teaching him about spirituality, so he sits down and meditates in the club surrounded by tons of people dancing and loud music. I love it. That’s the kind of dedication I need – and I could totally relate to the guy.

Day 58 – March 27 2009 – Friday

Morning yoga, three breakfasts. An excessive nap from 2 – 6:30 eats up the rest of the day. In the evening I chill with Toby, Johannes, and Diane at their place along with Sean, Lukas, and Karl.

Day 59 – March 28, 2009 – Saturday

Getting good at this early morning yoga routine followed by hip openers while reading. I nap again – I need to stop that, but something is sapping my energy. Today’s Hladina session was incredible. I was led to feel my body deeply, and I noticed a rock-like sensation in my left abdomen, close to the pelvis. It felt grey. I was led to understand that I have two selves – one is strictly spiritual, the other wants to have fun. The path walker wants to go faster on the path, while fun man wants to indulge in the distractions, the flowers on the side of the path. I am directed to have them hold hands, and when they do this, the path man stops running down the path to walk alond side the fun man, and the fun man looks and smiles at the distractions but does not indulge his whim to spend time with them. Fun man wants a rocket ship to fly down the fun, making the path fun and giving speed to the path walker. Path walking is a struggle but at the end of the road lies Bliss.

Thirty minutes at the banyan tree followed by a mosquito hunt at home and some reading aren’t exactly the best way to prepare for a party but I’d rather spend my time on progress anyway. Peter threw a monster bash dance party with food and drinks and tons of people which lasted late into the night. I danced for four hours.

Day 60 – March 29, 2009 – Sunday

Yoga under Kono, hip openers while reading, lose keys while heading to the beach. Drive back and forth searching for them, end up getting new bike key and house key without any repercussions. Progress chamber meditation stills mind my mind in preparation for Metta meditation. Thomas gives me some free pizza at home, then I head to La Terrace for card games with Pierre, Clarice, and some of their buddies. Afterwards a large group celebrates Laura’s birthday at Kailash with lots of food, then we have a bonfire at a Eucalyptus field. I lose my glasses at the field.

Day 61 – March 30, 2009 – Monday

Yoga under Boris, hunt for my glasses with the sunlight, shirtless moped ride through town, hip openers while reading, and a good talk with Kono about the “perfect” path and vipassana versus pranayama opens the day well. However, I take a 4.5 hour nap in the afternoon and miss yoga and meditation. Huge failure. Definitely gotta work on eating less during lunch so I am not so fatigued during the heat of day. We have a final farewell session for Tina at La Terrace. At home I meditate on the roof, hang out with some people at my guest house, then meditate some more in my room.

Day 62 – March 31, 2009 – Tuesday

Yoga to purify the body, a private Hladina session to delve into self-understanding. Sonja guided me through sensations in my body. At my solar plexus I noticed a ball of light, which radiated compassion and kindness. At my right shoulder I felt limiting beliefs and arguments with my brother Josh. My left forehead contained fear of surrendering completely to the divine. I was instructed to bring all of the sensations into the heart. Later I participate the in Hladina group workshop where we do mimicry and emotional displays. I leave early and go to Pondicherry with Dulisi. In the evening I read and meditate on the roof. I felt like I was going to be pulled through a vortex, and every time I had this feeling before while awake I rejected and averted it. This time, however, I rode into it with acceptance and felt an intense head rush. This is a sign that I’m ready to delve deeper, that I am developing enough personal power to overcome my deepest fears. Perhaps the Hladina is helping me more than I think.

Day 63 – April 1, 2009 – Wednesday

Morning yoga followed by inventory work and reading. I pack for my travels, drop my suitcase at Sean’s, and get everything I need. I leave for the north tomorrow.