I have so much to share about my progress, thoughts, and personal transformation, but I do not have the time right now to write that all down just yet. Here is a day-by-day summary of the rest of my time in Auroville before traveling north.
Here's an even shorter summary if you want to skip the day-by-day: From March 15 to April 1, I buckled down on yoga and started attending classes much more often. Same with meditation - I would go on my own to Matrimandir and the banyan tree, especially after acquiring a pass that lets me inside the inner chamber every day. Metta meditation, Hladina healing, and Reiki healing workshops have opened me up to new possibilities of the mind and its relation to energy and soul. There's always the regular stuff too: I hung out with friends, went to some crazy parties, ate the same delicious food. But mostly in this last month before traveling north I developed my willpower and focused on my spiritual path. I have learned how to balance fun with spiritual development, and some of the meditative journeys you can read about below were incredibly transformative. I'll share a more complete analysis of my self-understanding later.
Day 46 – March 15, 2009 – Sunday
Inventory work, 8-man dinner kickit at LT, super meditation with fractal visions of Brahman. Can’t sleep, so I write down three pages on self-understanding and the progress of my spiritual path.
Day 47 – March 16, 2009 – Monday – Msnow’s Birthday
Inventory work, private yoga with Grace & first time doing padmasana (lotus pose), Progress chamber meditation & listening to silence, Reiki healing workshop – meet Pierre and Clarice
Day 48 – March 17, 2009 – Tuesday
Finish inventory work in the stock room of Solar kitchen, acquire a daily pass to Matrimandir, meditate inside, plenty of reading
Day 49 – March 18, 2009 – Wednesday
Yoga under Bridgette, moped chain breaks / repaired, Matrimandir meditation.
Dinner at Discipline with brownies. The meal consists of pancakes, baked beans, tomato sauce, sweet potatoes, and curd/onion sauce. I put them all together and made "Indian burritos." For dessert we havecookies, jam, banana bread, and nut candies. Lukas, Lucas, Elisabeth, Emmanuel, Tina, Sean, Kara, Felix, and Matthias were there. I meditate in the kitchen and have a spirit journey as an omni-animal shaman rapidly shapeshifting and moving through a forest. Feathers cover my skin, each one takes the shape of different animal. When that fades, mushrooms cover my skin, each one a dream universe which, initially dim, begins to glow as it self-realizes and becomes a mini-utopia. Afterwards I take revenge on the mosquitoes in the kitchen. An attempt at being social again fails, as my mind is still in outer space. I walk off into the woods for a shamanic energy dance. I swirl a ball of energy around my hands and body which gives me kaleidoscopic vision with my eyes closed. When I’m done and I realize being social still isn’t going to work out, I head to the capsule to meditate; Emmanuel is there doing the same. Later, a water fight breaks out and we all get soaked. We make a lot of noise so the neighbors call Sean really pissed off.
Day 50 – March 19, 2009 – Thursday
Move in to Mitra, read, stretch before Matrimandir inner chamber meditation, yoga under Tatiana with Matthias and Tina. Since the Spanish Pavilion dinner event doesn’t have vegetarian food, I eat at Solar Kitchen and share my meditation and journey stories from the night before with Lucas, Liz, Emmanuel, Matthias, and Peter. I am very energetic and vigorous in my description, I feel fully alive.
Day 51 – March 20, 2009 – Friday
Morning yoga at Vertite under Marlena – We feel our emotion body at the start and finish of class, and I went from feeling nothing to love and kindness. I spend a few hours at Café Morgan for breakfast with Tomas discussing writing, Beyond Man, traveling, and synchronicities. I was considering writing a part-autobiography, part science fiction about what happens later in my life, and he suggests that I stay grounded rather than going into outer space. He also says that you can’t begin the real writing without having the end in mind. Not sure if that’s true. After a delicious lunch with Tina, Lukas, and Tomas at the art center, Le Colibri, I take autobiographical notes at Matrimandir before goin inside for meditation, where I sit for almost an hour. A group of friends has a farewell dinner for Tina at La Terrace, then I head out to the Eucalyptus fields for a party. When I get home there is an enormous spider next to my bed, and we have a nice chat.
Day 52 – March 21, 2009 – Saturday
During the Hladina method healing workshop we speak about DNA and theories of how it is affected by light and energy. Sonja shares a story about DDT and how a community refused to ban its use, and when an advocate of DDT consumed a handful to prove that it wasn’t dangerous, he died – and yet DDT is still being used. Then we begin a group guided meditation into the layers of out hearts. First we rotate awareness throughout the parts of the physical body, then feel it as a whole. We are instructed to become aware of our past self, and memories of my immediate past surface. I visualize a tunnel coming out of my body like in Donnie Darko, which takes me through the rest of my history and rapidly through my past lives, which are vague and indiscernible. We are told to ask our past self to give a message, and I hear an inner voice telling me to be a good person through kind acts and full-body awareness, and that I should relax about my spiritual quest as things will come in due time.
The we begin the journey into the layers of the heart. In the first level I have moments of lucid visions, similar to lucid dreaming except very brief. I see floors, walls, windows, and textures with vivid detail. As I am entranced by these visions, I zone out until the group enters the third layer of the heart. Here I enter a fantasy dreamland, where I become an animal oversoul running through the forest. I spawn a stairway of trees from my feet as I am running then take off flying. When I run on the ground, colors come out of my feet and spread through the dirt. We are instructed to enter “the field,” and here I see myself sitting in meditation emanating liquid energy layers, like light bubbles with the colors of the rainbow. I see receptive hands coming out of my heart.
After the workshop I stretch and briefly meditate at the lotus pond underneath Matrimandir. Pizza night at the Youth Center – quite tasty, but I leave to check out a concert and the Eucalyptus fields. Low key night.
Day 53 – March 22, 2009 – Sunday
I have a good talk in the morning with a man named Andrea about books, my story, 2012 and conscious evolution. The lotus pond and banyan tree calm my mind in the afternoon and prepare me for Metta meditation. During the meditation workshop I feel a distinct burning sensation at my third eye kshetram. After a Tibetan dinner at Lhasa with Felix, Sean, Kara, and Vera, I head to Kofi bar with Felix for more grub. We have a nice talk, and when he leaves I chill with Debby, then Barak.
Day 54 – March 23, 2009 – Monday
The day starts with Sivananda yoga under Boris at 6:45am with Matthias, JD, and Felix. After, we share breakfast at Ganesh Bakery. Back at home I do some hip openers with my roommate, Kono, and we have a great talk on vipassana and the observation of the mind. Plenty of reading among other things leads to a Reiki workshop and discussion of the Rainbow gathering in the evening.
Day 55 – March 24, 2009 – Tuesday
Yoga at Verite warms me up for the day. Another Hladina course today, where we are visited by a quantum physicist named Alex. He said that matter is not conscious, and I asked him how he could say that if everything is One and united, making everything conscious. It was a difficult question and he had a hard time answering, but he finally came up with a decent response: even if matter is conscious, it is neutral unless acted upon by another consciousness. He kept reiterating throughout the session that quantum physics only deals with matter, and that once you talk about levels above matter, it is not the science of quantum physics but extrapolations of a different name and nature. We discussed the Philadelphia experiment where this machine punched holes through reality and caused a boat to disappear for a few days. Further, we briefly discussed a new healing technique called Metta medicine, which sounded like scientific shamanism.
Alex, Matthias and I head to the banyan tree to meditate, and JD meets us there. We sit for a little over an hour. My third eye burns briefly, I feel liquidy pressures on the sides of my brain, and I see a spiral lotus over the point on which I am focusing. After dinner I head to a ballroom dancing class, but I leave early as everyone there is so far ahead of me. I chill at Mitra with some people for a while, then JD and Matthias sleep over.
Day 56 – March 25, 2009 – Wednesday
More morning yoga and hip openers back at home. I buy a handbag and glasses in Kuilapalayam after getting my cell phone back, still not repaired. After a good talk with Matthias about Watchment, bringing the supramental into the physical, social dynamics, the role of the connector, and education reform, I partake in a brief lotus pond meditation. Matrimandir beckons me inside, and I sit for 45 minutes, then head to Metta meditation at Verite.
Day 57 – March 26, 2009 – Thursday – Yoga power
Yoga to start the day, hip openers at home, read and finish Beyond Man, then return books to the library. Kono lends me a book about Vipassana, which I start reading. Matrimandir for 35 minutes. Another yoga class in the afternoon under Tatiana – my first time doing two yoga sessions in one day. The second session is difficult but I feel that I should do two in one day far more often. In the evening I watch an inspirational Spanish film called Un Buda, about a man’s spiritual quest. He is at a club with his girlfriend and has flashbacks of his late father teaching him about spirituality, so he sits down and meditates in the club surrounded by tons of people dancing and loud music. I love it. That’s the kind of dedication I need – and I could totally relate to the guy.
Day 58 – March 27 2009 – Friday
Morning yoga, three breakfasts. An excessive nap from 2 – 6:30 eats up the rest of the day. In the evening I chill with Toby, Johannes, and Diane at their place along with Sean, Lukas, and Karl.
Day 59 – March 28, 2009 – Saturday
Getting good at this early morning yoga routine followed by hip openers while reading. I nap again – I need to stop that, but something is sapping my energy. Today’s Hladina session was incredible. I was led to feel my body deeply, and I noticed a rock-like sensation in my left abdomen, close to the pelvis. It felt grey. I was led to understand that I have two selves – one is strictly spiritual, the other wants to have fun. The path walker wants to go faster on the path, while fun man wants to indulge in the distractions, the flowers on the side of the path. I am directed to have them hold hands, and when they do this, the path man stops running down the path to walk alond side the fun man, and the fun man looks and smiles at the distractions but does not indulge his whim to spend time with them. Fun man wants a rocket ship to fly down the fun, making the path fun and giving speed to the path walker. Path walking is a struggle but at the end of the road lies Bliss.
Thirty minutes at the banyan tree followed by a mosquito hunt at home and some reading aren’t exactly the best way to prepare for a party but I’d rather spend my time on progress anyway. Peter threw a monster bash dance party with food and drinks and tons of people which lasted late into the night. I danced for four hours.
Day 60 – March 29, 2009 – Sunday
Yoga under Kono, hip openers while reading, lose keys while heading to the beach. Drive back and forth searching for them, end up getting new bike key and house key without any repercussions. Progress chamber meditation stills mind my mind in preparation for Metta meditation. Thomas gives me some free pizza at home, then I head to La Terrace for card games with Pierre, Clarice, and some of their buddies. Afterwards a large group celebrates Laura’s birthday at Kailash with lots of food, then we have a bonfire at a Eucalyptus field. I lose my glasses at the field.
Day 61 – March 30, 2009 – Monday
Yoga under Boris, hunt for my glasses with the sunlight, shirtless moped ride through town, hip openers while reading, and a good talk with Kono about the “perfect” path and vipassana versus pranayama opens the day well. However, I take a 4.5 hour nap in the afternoon and miss yoga and meditation. Huge failure. Definitely gotta work on eating less during lunch so I am not so fatigued during the heat of day. We have a final farewell session for Tina at La Terrace. At home I meditate on the roof, hang out with some people at my guest house, then meditate some more in my room.
Day 62 – March 31, 2009 – Tuesday
Yoga to purify the body, a private Hladina session to delve into self-understanding. Sonja guided me through sensations in my body. At my solar plexus I noticed a ball of light, which radiated compassion and kindness. At my right shoulder I felt limiting beliefs and arguments with my brother Josh. My left forehead contained fear of surrendering completely to the divine. I was instructed to bring all of the sensations into the heart. Later I participate the in Hladina group workshop where we do mimicry and emotional displays. I leave early and go to Pondicherry with Dulisi. In the evening I read and meditate on the roof. I felt like I was going to be pulled through a vortex, and every time I had this feeling before while awake I rejected and averted it. This time, however, I rode into it with acceptance and felt an intense head rush. This is a sign that I’m ready to delve deeper, that I am developing enough personal power to overcome my deepest fears. Perhaps the Hladina is helping me more than I think.
Day 63 – April 1, 2009 – Wednesday
Morning yoga followed by inventory work and reading. I pack for my travels, drop my suitcase at Sean’s, and get everything I need. I leave for the north tomorrow.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Naked Revolution!
Day 38 – March 7, 2009 – Saturday
The day begins with breakfast at Discipline and a hard-core chill session where I spend a considerable amount of time just sitting and thinking. I felt that my spiritual practice of yoga, meditation, and the occasional spirit journey was missing something critical. While I have been progressing rather quickly along my path here in India I still feel that I am not taking advantage of enough opportunities, that there is something else I must look into. Lukas walked into the capsule and told me how he’s getting a new job in the area helping orphans. I realized what my practice was missing: acts of kindness and compassion. I consider myself to be a compassionate character but I don’t find myself often going out of my way for people. In general, I am kind, but I do not put myself in a position where I can perform acts and work of kindness for hours every day, which is much more uplifting and fulfilling than my current work.
Later in the day the crew at Discipline had a pancake party, and a bunch of people showed up. The food was great and while I enjoyed myself I didn’t find myself able to speak to people. My mind was elsewhere, ready to work on a grand project or engage in deep conversation, but I had no initiative to make things happen on my own.
Day 39 – March 8, 2009 – Sunday
Group breakfast at Discipline, beach with Sean and Kara, met a girl at Richy’s, briefly watched Chloe’s concert by Pizzeria Trattoria. Meditating on the ledge at La Terrace was pleasant. Dinner at Alankupam with Karl and the Discipline crew was good and cheap, but it was hard to watch them eat such delicious-looking chicken wings. We went back to Discipline and watched Wild Wild West, an experience complemented by German gummy bears thanks to Kara. I couldn’t sleep since I was so itchy, so I took a shower and ate a brownie. Boy, did that help.
Day 40 – March 9, 2009 – Monday
Still super itchy all day. I picked up a couple writings by Sri Aurobindo at the Freeland Bookstore. I spent most of the day napping and playing Final Fantasy 3 on my computer, as the itchiness pretty much disabled me for the day. More brownies with Lukas and Matthias. We went our separate ways and magically met up at La Terrace for dinner – an evening of nonstop laughter over absolutely nothing. Pizza and Haribo candy and chillage followed suit at Discipline.
Day 41 – March 10, 2009 – Tuesday
I don’t really remember the day since I forgot to write things down till two days later. Still super itchy, I continued the nap and video game festival. Sean, Lukas, Kara and I made pasta for dinner.
Day 42 – March 11, 2009 – Wednesday
Grubbed on some oats for breakfast. Matthias took me to meet some people for farm management and marketing even though I’m already planning to work for the research center, CSR, on an eco-footprint project. During lunch I enjoyed the company of many friends. After reading and a nap, I met up with Laxman to change my TVS motorbike, since it didn’t have enough acceleration or top speed. Krishna’s concert at Bharat Nivas became the night plan. His band is very talented but it’s not my kind of music. A field session and chillage with the band at a house followed. When we got to the house, I left to meditate under the full moon for a bit before joining everybody. Sean and Matthias opened up room for a deep conversation, and they couldn’t really respond to what I said, so it ended quickly. Poop. At least I had a good talk with the moon. She said I have to do vipassana meditation and live more impeccably.
Day 43 – March 12, 2009 – Thursday
After breakfast and acquiring some dollaz, I picked up a few books at the Bharat Nivas library. Matthias and I had a good talk about how to live life. A good chunk of the day was devoted to writing my daily activities in my blog and writing an introspective essay. Since I was on the net I also began my research on vipassana meditation locations and dates in India. Plenty of reading preceded yoga under Grace, Tatiana’s temporary replacement since she has a broken collarbone. After eating alone at Ganesh bakery I went home for meditation and Slumdog Millionaire with the roomies and Matthias. I blame the offer of Haribo candy for pulling me out of meditation and back to the movie…
Day 44 – March 13, 2009 – Friday
Matthias provided the Discipline squad with a lovely croissant breakfast. Plain, chocolate, and bread with jam was the perfect start to the day. Then I napped from 8 to 11:30 – oops. I finished Aurobindo’s Supramental Manifestation on Earth before lunch and ate with the crew, but nothing interesting was said. It seems that lunch is always in good company but nothing with any meaning ever leaves our lips. After using the net I started Beyond Man, a biography of Aurobindo and Mother and their lives in front of and behind the curtain. Tomas caught me reading and we discussed our mutual interest in Vipassana. A banyan tree meditation session helped me calm down a bit and gave me good opportunity to work on my half-lotus posture, but my mind was very distracted. I couldn’t keep my eyes focused on one spot and my mind drifted harder than Max in a rice rocket. I returned to La Terrace to craft the perfect schedule, then shared my New Brighton Beach rap and my philosophical influences with Matthias. Reading back at home, I kept checking my phone for reception but it never came, so I just drove to Kailash to see if anything was happening for the evening. Even though I dined at La Terrace I was still invited to pancakes at Kailash, and I kicked it there with the crew for a bit before heading out. Lucas introduced me to his girlfriend, Elisabeth, who just spent a couple months in Kenya as a school teacher. Karl took me to Junta Bar in Pondicherry, where I had good talks with Isabella and Felix about relationships, swimming, self-defense, and random bs. Felix taught me some nifty defensive moves. Rawr, I’m a warrior, watch yo back.
Day 45 – March 14, 2009 – Saturday
I found JD and Matthias outside Solar Kitchen at the weekly market, and made plans to go with Matthias to a class on the Hladina healing method. Isabella and I sat for lunch and hung out at La Terrace briefly before the class. It turned out that the class practices on Tuesdays and talks theory on Saturdays. We spent most of the session on tangential topics rather than the actual Hladina method. Everything discussed was of great interest to me but I didn’t learn anything new. Still, it was interesting to find other people interested in the same stuff: the upcoming magnetic shift of Earth, ancient civilizations, pyramids, 2012, the mass extinction of bees, Mother and Aurobindo, and more. Sonja, the workshop leader, shared birthday cake and tea with us after the talk. A much more relaxed and focused banyan tree meditation followed. Matthias was in the area, we planned on meeting at the Matrimandir office at 5:30, and we saw Toby outside with his friend Mia from Germany. We all went back to his spot at Prathna for a drum circle, music, freestyle rapping, tasty fruit, and the beginnings of the Naked Revolution. I got pretty naked, and so did Diane. While Toby and Mia stayed home, the rest of us went – instruments in hand – to pizza night at the Youth Center. We tried to spread the Naked Revolution, and we even got a few new members. We held a brief music circle and I freestyled. Matthias joined in briefly in German, which sounded awesome. When my fellow Naked Revolutionaries left the party after dancing, the only people left I really wanted to speak with were Matthias and Tina, but they were completely engrossed in a deep and personal conversation, so after meandering around a bit I left for dreamtime.
The day begins with breakfast at Discipline and a hard-core chill session where I spend a considerable amount of time just sitting and thinking. I felt that my spiritual practice of yoga, meditation, and the occasional spirit journey was missing something critical. While I have been progressing rather quickly along my path here in India I still feel that I am not taking advantage of enough opportunities, that there is something else I must look into. Lukas walked into the capsule and told me how he’s getting a new job in the area helping orphans. I realized what my practice was missing: acts of kindness and compassion. I consider myself to be a compassionate character but I don’t find myself often going out of my way for people. In general, I am kind, but I do not put myself in a position where I can perform acts and work of kindness for hours every day, which is much more uplifting and fulfilling than my current work.
Later in the day the crew at Discipline had a pancake party, and a bunch of people showed up. The food was great and while I enjoyed myself I didn’t find myself able to speak to people. My mind was elsewhere, ready to work on a grand project or engage in deep conversation, but I had no initiative to make things happen on my own.
Day 39 – March 8, 2009 – Sunday
Group breakfast at Discipline, beach with Sean and Kara, met a girl at Richy’s, briefly watched Chloe’s concert by Pizzeria Trattoria. Meditating on the ledge at La Terrace was pleasant. Dinner at Alankupam with Karl and the Discipline crew was good and cheap, but it was hard to watch them eat such delicious-looking chicken wings. We went back to Discipline and watched Wild Wild West, an experience complemented by German gummy bears thanks to Kara. I couldn’t sleep since I was so itchy, so I took a shower and ate a brownie. Boy, did that help.
Day 40 – March 9, 2009 – Monday
Still super itchy all day. I picked up a couple writings by Sri Aurobindo at the Freeland Bookstore. I spent most of the day napping and playing Final Fantasy 3 on my computer, as the itchiness pretty much disabled me for the day. More brownies with Lukas and Matthias. We went our separate ways and magically met up at La Terrace for dinner – an evening of nonstop laughter over absolutely nothing. Pizza and Haribo candy and chillage followed suit at Discipline.
Day 41 – March 10, 2009 – Tuesday
I don’t really remember the day since I forgot to write things down till two days later. Still super itchy, I continued the nap and video game festival. Sean, Lukas, Kara and I made pasta for dinner.
Day 42 – March 11, 2009 – Wednesday
Grubbed on some oats for breakfast. Matthias took me to meet some people for farm management and marketing even though I’m already planning to work for the research center, CSR, on an eco-footprint project. During lunch I enjoyed the company of many friends. After reading and a nap, I met up with Laxman to change my TVS motorbike, since it didn’t have enough acceleration or top speed. Krishna’s concert at Bharat Nivas became the night plan. His band is very talented but it’s not my kind of music. A field session and chillage with the band at a house followed. When we got to the house, I left to meditate under the full moon for a bit before joining everybody. Sean and Matthias opened up room for a deep conversation, and they couldn’t really respond to what I said, so it ended quickly. Poop. At least I had a good talk with the moon. She said I have to do vipassana meditation and live more impeccably.
Day 43 – March 12, 2009 – Thursday
After breakfast and acquiring some dollaz, I picked up a few books at the Bharat Nivas library. Matthias and I had a good talk about how to live life. A good chunk of the day was devoted to writing my daily activities in my blog and writing an introspective essay. Since I was on the net I also began my research on vipassana meditation locations and dates in India. Plenty of reading preceded yoga under Grace, Tatiana’s temporary replacement since she has a broken collarbone. After eating alone at Ganesh bakery I went home for meditation and Slumdog Millionaire with the roomies and Matthias. I blame the offer of Haribo candy for pulling me out of meditation and back to the movie…
Day 44 – March 13, 2009 – Friday
Matthias provided the Discipline squad with a lovely croissant breakfast. Plain, chocolate, and bread with jam was the perfect start to the day. Then I napped from 8 to 11:30 – oops. I finished Aurobindo’s Supramental Manifestation on Earth before lunch and ate with the crew, but nothing interesting was said. It seems that lunch is always in good company but nothing with any meaning ever leaves our lips. After using the net I started Beyond Man, a biography of Aurobindo and Mother and their lives in front of and behind the curtain. Tomas caught me reading and we discussed our mutual interest in Vipassana. A banyan tree meditation session helped me calm down a bit and gave me good opportunity to work on my half-lotus posture, but my mind was very distracted. I couldn’t keep my eyes focused on one spot and my mind drifted harder than Max in a rice rocket. I returned to La Terrace to craft the perfect schedule, then shared my New Brighton Beach rap and my philosophical influences with Matthias. Reading back at home, I kept checking my phone for reception but it never came, so I just drove to Kailash to see if anything was happening for the evening. Even though I dined at La Terrace I was still invited to pancakes at Kailash, and I kicked it there with the crew for a bit before heading out. Lucas introduced me to his girlfriend, Elisabeth, who just spent a couple months in Kenya as a school teacher. Karl took me to Junta Bar in Pondicherry, where I had good talks with Isabella and Felix about relationships, swimming, self-defense, and random bs. Felix taught me some nifty defensive moves. Rawr, I’m a warrior, watch yo back.
Day 45 – March 14, 2009 – Saturday
I found JD and Matthias outside Solar Kitchen at the weekly market, and made plans to go with Matthias to a class on the Hladina healing method. Isabella and I sat for lunch and hung out at La Terrace briefly before the class. It turned out that the class practices on Tuesdays and talks theory on Saturdays. We spent most of the session on tangential topics rather than the actual Hladina method. Everything discussed was of great interest to me but I didn’t learn anything new. Still, it was interesting to find other people interested in the same stuff: the upcoming magnetic shift of Earth, ancient civilizations, pyramids, 2012, the mass extinction of bees, Mother and Aurobindo, and more. Sonja, the workshop leader, shared birthday cake and tea with us after the talk. A much more relaxed and focused banyan tree meditation followed. Matthias was in the area, we planned on meeting at the Matrimandir office at 5:30, and we saw Toby outside with his friend Mia from Germany. We all went back to his spot at Prathna for a drum circle, music, freestyle rapping, tasty fruit, and the beginnings of the Naked Revolution. I got pretty naked, and so did Diane. While Toby and Mia stayed home, the rest of us went – instruments in hand – to pizza night at the Youth Center. We tried to spread the Naked Revolution, and we even got a few new members. We held a brief music circle and I freestyled. Matthias joined in briefly in German, which sounded awesome. When my fellow Naked Revolutionaries left the party after dancing, the only people left I really wanted to speak with were Matthias and Tina, but they were completely engrossed in a deep and personal conversation, so after meandering around a bit I left for dreamtime.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
A Window to Thoughts and Progress
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently about life, what it means to be part of this world, and my role in the great story of consciousness and its evolution.
During college all I wanted to do was learn finance, work at an investment bank, make a shit-ton of money very quickly, pay off student loans, then start my own company. In being an entrepreneur I could do whatever I want, be more philanthropic, be a good person, whatever. But I realized how the whole plan was a crock of shit from the get go.
What I learned is that my desire to make money quickly is merely a reaction to my father. Ever since I was eight years old my father has stressed about money. There were many years where our family was very well off, we traveled and ate nice dinners and the kids got to go to nice summer programs. As the years went on, my father's company slowly went down the drain, while my father's stress levels went through the roof. Incapable of separating work problems from family relationships, he brought his stress and anger into our household and absolutely destroyed the sanctuary of love and laughter that we called our home.
I figured if I made boat-loads of money I could avoid the problems my father encountered. By being wealthy, I wouldn't have to stress about money and take it out on my family. My naive thinking was leading me down the exact same path as my father. By going into investment banking, I would invite enormous amounts of money-related stress into my everyday life. My main concern on a daily basis would be regarding how much money I made, whether directly or indirectly. Stress, money, deadlines, rinse, wash, repeat. There is no light down that road. Maybe years down that pathI could finally come out of the whole shabang with a few dollars and a great network with which to start a good-hearted company. But would there be any good heart left in me? I would have to put everything that matters to me on hold while working as a banker. Fuck that.
So now I'm in India, procrastinating getting a real job and trying to figure out what actually has meaning to me. So far I've learned that money is power and that I do actually want to make a good amount, but not at the cost of quality of life. I've learned that I am a spiritual being, and that more important than my physical needs are my spiritual needs. My higher being needs to be fed in the form of YOGA, MEDITATION, FULFILLING WORK, READING, WRITING, PAINTING, METAPHYSICAL CONVERSATION, CONSCIOUS RAP, SPIRIT JOURNEYS, and DANCE, among other things. If I am to fully engage my spirit being, then the things I can indulge in and abstain from must change. First, I must make a choice. How much of life do I want to live spiritually, and do I want to leave any room for my material being? Can I drink alcohol, and if so, when is it ok? If I attend a party, must there be some higher purpose involved? Can I spend all day lounging around? Surely not. I must live impeccably, every day, because a grand shift in human consciousness looms just around the corner. That or my death, whichever comes first.
The goal is to attain enlightenment, and to do so in this lifetime. I have been lucky enough to experience kensho, which is a glimpse of the true nature of existence, and because of this I no longer need faith. Direct experience has shown me the divinity of sentient life and the great unfolding story of cosmic manifestation and conscious evolution. I know that my role in this world has greater meaning than how much money I make, how much stress I endure, or what material obstacles I overcome. I understand now that money, glory, fame, and even knowledge mean nothing in the long run - only true knowledge, or wisdom, lasts. So it all comes back to the penultimate question in life, the only question that has ever really mattered, or so it seems at this stage of my philosophical quest for understanding:
How is life to be lived?
Holy shit, that's the craziest question of all time. I'll have to get back to you with a sketch of an answer. Please, please, please, leave your comments and help me in our mutual quest for Truth.
During college all I wanted to do was learn finance, work at an investment bank, make a shit-ton of money very quickly, pay off student loans, then start my own company. In being an entrepreneur I could do whatever I want, be more philanthropic, be a good person, whatever. But I realized how the whole plan was a crock of shit from the get go.
What I learned is that my desire to make money quickly is merely a reaction to my father. Ever since I was eight years old my father has stressed about money. There were many years where our family was very well off, we traveled and ate nice dinners and the kids got to go to nice summer programs. As the years went on, my father's company slowly went down the drain, while my father's stress levels went through the roof. Incapable of separating work problems from family relationships, he brought his stress and anger into our household and absolutely destroyed the sanctuary of love and laughter that we called our home.
I figured if I made boat-loads of money I could avoid the problems my father encountered. By being wealthy, I wouldn't have to stress about money and take it out on my family. My naive thinking was leading me down the exact same path as my father. By going into investment banking, I would invite enormous amounts of money-related stress into my everyday life. My main concern on a daily basis would be regarding how much money I made, whether directly or indirectly. Stress, money, deadlines, rinse, wash, repeat. There is no light down that road. Maybe years down that pathI could finally come out of the whole shabang with a few dollars and a great network with which to start a good-hearted company. But would there be any good heart left in me? I would have to put everything that matters to me on hold while working as a banker. Fuck that.
So now I'm in India, procrastinating getting a real job and trying to figure out what actually has meaning to me. So far I've learned that money is power and that I do actually want to make a good amount, but not at the cost of quality of life. I've learned that I am a spiritual being, and that more important than my physical needs are my spiritual needs. My higher being needs to be fed in the form of YOGA, MEDITATION, FULFILLING WORK, READING, WRITING, PAINTING, METAPHYSICAL CONVERSATION, CONSCIOUS RAP, SPIRIT JOURNEYS, and DANCE, among other things. If I am to fully engage my spirit being, then the things I can indulge in and abstain from must change. First, I must make a choice. How much of life do I want to live spiritually, and do I want to leave any room for my material being? Can I drink alcohol, and if so, when is it ok? If I attend a party, must there be some higher purpose involved? Can I spend all day lounging around? Surely not. I must live impeccably, every day, because a grand shift in human consciousness looms just around the corner. That or my death, whichever comes first.
The goal is to attain enlightenment, and to do so in this lifetime. I have been lucky enough to experience kensho, which is a glimpse of the true nature of existence, and because of this I no longer need faith. Direct experience has shown me the divinity of sentient life and the great unfolding story of cosmic manifestation and conscious evolution. I know that my role in this world has greater meaning than how much money I make, how much stress I endure, or what material obstacles I overcome. I understand now that money, glory, fame, and even knowledge mean nothing in the long run - only true knowledge, or wisdom, lasts. So it all comes back to the penultimate question in life, the only question that has ever really mattered, or so it seems at this stage of my philosophical quest for understanding:
How is life to be lived?
Holy shit, that's the craziest question of all time. I'll have to get back to you with a sketch of an answer. Please, please, please, leave your comments and help me in our mutual quest for Truth.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Blasted Fever!
Day 31 - February 28, 2009 - Saturday
Morning errands led to various other standard daily functions. After lunch and chillage I went to Matrimandir to sit again in the courage chamber. This time the chamber was lit, hitting me with full energy. Again I was alone, and the meditation was very peaceful. Afterward I went to the inauguration of the new capsules at Discipline, where Sean, Lukas, and Karl will be living. A bunch of people showed up for a meeting and snacks, but I was less than amused by anything other than the grub. Obviously not in the mood to be around people, I went home for a monster nap until 9:30pm, then drove towards CSR for Toby's (actual) birthday party, with dinner, drinks, music, and good friends to yango the yonga with.
Day 32 - March 1, 2009 - Sunday
Banyan tree meditation followed a muesli breakfast. At La Terrace I was pleasantly reading a book when I met Cyprien, a French hacker, with whom I discussed education and how it needs to be transformed. He is also passionate about education. He needs to learn how to hack people's minds. Word. After solar kitchen lunch with Toby & Hue, I drove to Kuilapalayam for petro, cookies for Tina, and rolling papers for Sean. I helped Sean & Lukas move in to Discipline (sort of), then chilled with Tina for a bit to cheer her up from thinking about being injured all day. We had a good talk. I brought her over to Discipline and the crew cooked pasta, bread, and sweet potatoes. I made some damn good pasta. Yum yum! After taking Tina home I called up a taxi and moved out of Newlands to Discipline. Apparently Karl wants to live in Kailash for an extra couple of weeks for the internet he has there, which works out great for me. Back at Discipline with almost all my belongings I watched Garbarge Warrior with Sean about radical, sustainable architecture by Mike Reynolds. Incredible film - Reynolds is my new hero.
Day 33 - March 2, 2009 - Monday
After lunch with Lukas and Karl I returned to Newlands to get my soap, food, towel, and boots. Had a good meeting with Min later, where I was given a mission to acquire the Global Footprint Network as a partner and some ammunition (storywise) to pull off the feat. Then I picked up Tina & took her to the health center, had a jolly old time getting her medicine before heading to Richy's for excessive sweets. We talked about my screenplay, Mike's screenplay (my roommate from college), Vicky Christina Barcelona, love, monogamy, and her uncle. Tina had dinner with a crew of architects at her place, which sounds awesome and crazy. Kinda jealous. Sean and I waited outside her spot on a bike path for her to finish then the three of us kicked it there and had a solid injured-people reunion. Except I wasn't injured. What a way to kill the energy, Nick.
Day 34 - March 3, 2009 - Tuesday
I rise from slumber at 7am and quickly pass out again. At 9:30 I have breakfast and shower, but go back to sleep as my lower back is considerably sore. Lunch with Sean and Mada near Discipline proves a bad idea - I feel increasingly bad, but I head to CSR anyway to revise the partnership application. Relieved to be done with my work so quickly, I head home for a nap before yoga at 4. I keep thinking how yoga is gonna save me from soreness and that I just have to wait until 4. At 3:30pm I wake up and get ready, but I have an immense fever, which pushes yoga out of the question. My temperature ranged from 103.1 to 103.6 degrees Fahrenheit. I remained cooped up in bed all day and night, unable to sleep with my extremely pained lower back. Sean and Lukas bring me dinner, and I watch Lord of the Flies.
Day 35 - March 4, 2009 - Wednesday
Bed, bed, bed. Water, water, water. Bed, drink, uncomfortable shuffle to the bathroom. Can't make it, pee on the pineapple plants. That was my day. I also watched Kundun, a film on the 14th Dalai Lama, which was a little too slow for my taste. For dinner I mustered up the strength to go to La Terrace. I ordered a fruit salad but could only eat half of it. What a weak appetite! Back at home, Lukas made me banana peanut butter bread. In the evening, Sean, his girl Kara, Lukas, and Tina made dinner, and we split a German cake after. Mmm, tasty chocolate. I'm so addicted to sugar here in India. Right before heading back to the capsule, Sean rolls me one, which helps me to get a great night's sleep.
Day 36 - March 5, 2009 - Thursday
Still sick, 99 to 101 degrees. Still no appetite. After Richy's I get a tapestry for Matthias for his birthday, then head to his party. I meet Barack from Carmel, CA, and have a great talk with him and Jan David. Sean, Kara, Tina and I leave the party early to head to a Slovenian Art show with some real art (unappealing) and a fantastic multimedia show on all this other art. I slept from 10:30pm to 1:30am, watched The Fountain, then fell asleep again.
Day 37 - March 6, 2009 - Friday
Posted up at CSR in the morning for a meeting with Min. He received emails back from the Global Footprint Network, which is great. We now need to do more follow-ups but the questions are for him to answer. I had lunch at La Terrace, then met up with Jonny below in solar kitchen afterward to discuss finances. A brief banyan tree meditation led to a fat nap back at Discipline. I returned to La Terrace for dinner and ended up joining the whole radio crew there for dinner. Tina came and gave me a shirt from the Love Circus as a gift. She cut off the ring around the neck to give it some flair and freedom of motion. I went to the Youth Center after for more spirit journeys but not enough people showed up - only Barack and Jan David. We need a better venue anyway, the kids there all want to blast music and the dogs like to yarkle their fucking heads off at every person they don't know. Barack shared some very interesting stories, including one of a 10-day Vipassana retreat he partook in. I head to the Euky fields, but no one is there, so I start to drive home. I stop to make one last call when I hear some music. I follow my ears at end up at Shanti's car out by a new field. More and more people arrive and it turns out to be a great Friday night chill session in the field.
Morning errands led to various other standard daily functions. After lunch and chillage I went to Matrimandir to sit again in the courage chamber. This time the chamber was lit, hitting me with full energy. Again I was alone, and the meditation was very peaceful. Afterward I went to the inauguration of the new capsules at Discipline, where Sean, Lukas, and Karl will be living. A bunch of people showed up for a meeting and snacks, but I was less than amused by anything other than the grub. Obviously not in the mood to be around people, I went home for a monster nap until 9:30pm, then drove towards CSR for Toby's (actual) birthday party, with dinner, drinks, music, and good friends to yango the yonga with.
Day 32 - March 1, 2009 - Sunday
Banyan tree meditation followed a muesli breakfast. At La Terrace I was pleasantly reading a book when I met Cyprien, a French hacker, with whom I discussed education and how it needs to be transformed. He is also passionate about education. He needs to learn how to hack people's minds. Word. After solar kitchen lunch with Toby & Hue, I drove to Kuilapalayam for petro, cookies for Tina, and rolling papers for Sean. I helped Sean & Lukas move in to Discipline (sort of), then chilled with Tina for a bit to cheer her up from thinking about being injured all day. We had a good talk. I brought her over to Discipline and the crew cooked pasta, bread, and sweet potatoes. I made some damn good pasta. Yum yum! After taking Tina home I called up a taxi and moved out of Newlands to Discipline. Apparently Karl wants to live in Kailash for an extra couple of weeks for the internet he has there, which works out great for me. Back at Discipline with almost all my belongings I watched Garbarge Warrior with Sean about radical, sustainable architecture by Mike Reynolds. Incredible film - Reynolds is my new hero.
Day 33 - March 2, 2009 - Monday
After lunch with Lukas and Karl I returned to Newlands to get my soap, food, towel, and boots. Had a good meeting with Min later, where I was given a mission to acquire the Global Footprint Network as a partner and some ammunition (storywise) to pull off the feat. Then I picked up Tina & took her to the health center, had a jolly old time getting her medicine before heading to Richy's for excessive sweets. We talked about my screenplay, Mike's screenplay (my roommate from college), Vicky Christina Barcelona, love, monogamy, and her uncle. Tina had dinner with a crew of architects at her place, which sounds awesome and crazy. Kinda jealous. Sean and I waited outside her spot on a bike path for her to finish then the three of us kicked it there and had a solid injured-people reunion. Except I wasn't injured. What a way to kill the energy, Nick.
Day 34 - March 3, 2009 - Tuesday
I rise from slumber at 7am and quickly pass out again. At 9:30 I have breakfast and shower, but go back to sleep as my lower back is considerably sore. Lunch with Sean and Mada near Discipline proves a bad idea - I feel increasingly bad, but I head to CSR anyway to revise the partnership application. Relieved to be done with my work so quickly, I head home for a nap before yoga at 4. I keep thinking how yoga is gonna save me from soreness and that I just have to wait until 4. At 3:30pm I wake up and get ready, but I have an immense fever, which pushes yoga out of the question. My temperature ranged from 103.1 to 103.6 degrees Fahrenheit. I remained cooped up in bed all day and night, unable to sleep with my extremely pained lower back. Sean and Lukas bring me dinner, and I watch Lord of the Flies.
Day 35 - March 4, 2009 - Wednesday
Bed, bed, bed. Water, water, water. Bed, drink, uncomfortable shuffle to the bathroom. Can't make it, pee on the pineapple plants. That was my day. I also watched Kundun, a film on the 14th Dalai Lama, which was a little too slow for my taste. For dinner I mustered up the strength to go to La Terrace. I ordered a fruit salad but could only eat half of it. What a weak appetite! Back at home, Lukas made me banana peanut butter bread. In the evening, Sean, his girl Kara, Lukas, and Tina made dinner, and we split a German cake after. Mmm, tasty chocolate. I'm so addicted to sugar here in India. Right before heading back to the capsule, Sean rolls me one, which helps me to get a great night's sleep.
Day 36 - March 5, 2009 - Thursday
Still sick, 99 to 101 degrees. Still no appetite. After Richy's I get a tapestry for Matthias for his birthday, then head to his party. I meet Barack from Carmel, CA, and have a great talk with him and Jan David. Sean, Kara, Tina and I leave the party early to head to a Slovenian Art show with some real art (unappealing) and a fantastic multimedia show on all this other art. I slept from 10:30pm to 1:30am, watched The Fountain, then fell asleep again.
Day 37 - March 6, 2009 - Friday
Posted up at CSR in the morning for a meeting with Min. He received emails back from the Global Footprint Network, which is great. We now need to do more follow-ups but the questions are for him to answer. I had lunch at La Terrace, then met up with Jonny below in solar kitchen afterward to discuss finances. A brief banyan tree meditation led to a fat nap back at Discipline. I returned to La Terrace for dinner and ended up joining the whole radio crew there for dinner. Tina came and gave me a shirt from the Love Circus as a gift. She cut off the ring around the neck to give it some flair and freedom of motion. I went to the Youth Center after for more spirit journeys but not enough people showed up - only Barack and Jan David. We need a better venue anyway, the kids there all want to blast music and the dogs like to yarkle their fucking heads off at every person they don't know. Barack shared some very interesting stories, including one of a 10-day Vipassana retreat he partook in. I head to the Euky fields, but no one is there, so I start to drive home. I stop to make one last call when I hear some music. I follow my ears at end up at Shanti's car out by a new field. More and more people arrive and it turns out to be a great Friday night chill session in the field.
One Month in India! What now?
Day 29 – February 26, 2009 – Thursday
A morning hitch hike to the health center to recover my TVS sets the tone of the day. I drive over to Town Hall for 24-cent breakfast. Working at the stock home in the morning, Laxman sends a boy over with my new TVS. I have learned from this transaction not to get rid of something good for the hope of something better, as the new one just simply isn’t as good. After lunch I meditate in the courage chamber. Supercharged with positive energy from my solo meditation, I head to the banyan tree for a brief rest, then to Sean’s. A good chill session at Sean’s becomes better after ordering pizza. I leave after ordering and drive to Matrimandir and walk up to the lotus pond underneath, which happens to be flowing with water. I am the only person there and the bottom half of Matrimandir is lit up and wet, as if it’s organic and alive. I feel as if I am uncovering a secret of Auroville. Delicious pizza at Sean’s follows the cosmic meditation.
Day 30 – February 27, 2009 – Friday
In the afternoon I painted the Discipline bathroom and swept the floor of the main kitchen area. Before and after, I chilled at Sean and Lukas’ place in Windarra. I went to Richy’s alone for dinner, picked up Spanish Delight ice cream, and went to Tina’s to cheer her up. I couldn’t stay for long though – I got to her place at 7 and I had an appointment to be at the Youth Center at 8, where I led spirit journeys for a group of eight. Jan David brought his drum, mats were provided, music was shut off, and we went out into the forested area to explore our imaginations. Lucas couldn’t find his animal on the first trip, and Nikolai couldn’t even find the underworld, stuck in his tunnel. After everyone shared their stories we did another journey, and this time everyone had a successful journey. Nikolai had to find stones in his tunnel to remove, and Lucas just had to explore a bit more. Afterward I went back to Kailash with Lucas, we each took a shot of Brandy, then began our aimless drive to Pondicherry to find a house party. Luckily we reached someone on the way who knew how to get there. Arriving, it was completely packed, the music was loud, dancing intense, and there was a table with buckets full of alcoholic mixed drinks and straws for people to re-use. Sloppy night!
Thirty Days – First Month Experience
Arriving in India I recall being amazed at how different the culture is, but arriving in Auroville and exploring its mystery has been more than just a stroll through paradise. The United States was once known as the land of opportunity, and today that statement still holds true, although to a different degree depending on your class. Hey, Tony Montana made it from rags to riches in America, so anybody can. But in Auroville, where everything is dirt cheap, where everyone strives for greater communal harmony and a more perfect society – I have never seen a land with more opportunity and potential than here.
Auroville is no typical city. With 2000 residents and about 8000 guests and visitors, Auroville is 30% Indian, and 70% European. There are about 25,000 Tamil natives in the region that choose not to affiliate with Auroville, and assimilating them is a project on its own. Hitching a ride in this unusually friendly town is a cinch – with about a hundred rides on the backs of strangers, I’ve grown particularly fond of the free ride. I always strike up a conversation, and I meet some very interesting people during my brief rides from place to place. People usually smile as they drive by, and I often hear people say, “good morning,” or “afternoon.” The friendly atmosphere is perfect for me – I always want to greet strangers with an open heart even if there is no intention for conversation, but America seems to find such behavior odd. Everyone is America is too stressed about money and deadlines to show compassion to random sidewalk strangers. But here, there is enough love for everyone, and all seem open to new friendships.
There is a mysterious air about Auroville. I feel like I am the main character in an epic adventure game, trekking through India and Auroville on a path to uncover a timeless secret. I felt like I was close to uncovering a great truth last night when I walked up to Matrimandir in the evening for meditation. Light reflected off the wet golden discs, and Matrimandir seemed alive, organic, like a seed about to crack open. I walked closer and noticed that I was alone, then sat by the lotus pond directly underneath Matrimandir. Water ran over every petal of the lotus pond, the first time I had seen it running. My solo meditation expedition under the golden ball of conscious awakening that unifies Auroville turned out to be a very special experience.
Auroville is my sanctuary of love and light, a place for me to open my heart, learn, teach, work, play, and interact with incredible people and projects. I’ve had tremendous spiritual progress in the first month, but I need to work on having a better balance between chilling with friends and partying and spending time on self-improvement. If I want to attain Nirvana in this life, then I must step it up. I have spent enough lifetimes indulging my senses and my ego. The world is on the brink, and if anyone’s going to save the world from suffering it’s best to be self-reliant. I’m coming, but not the me you think I am.
A morning hitch hike to the health center to recover my TVS sets the tone of the day. I drive over to Town Hall for 24-cent breakfast. Working at the stock home in the morning, Laxman sends a boy over with my new TVS. I have learned from this transaction not to get rid of something good for the hope of something better, as the new one just simply isn’t as good. After lunch I meditate in the courage chamber. Supercharged with positive energy from my solo meditation, I head to the banyan tree for a brief rest, then to Sean’s. A good chill session at Sean’s becomes better after ordering pizza. I leave after ordering and drive to Matrimandir and walk up to the lotus pond underneath, which happens to be flowing with water. I am the only person there and the bottom half of Matrimandir is lit up and wet, as if it’s organic and alive. I feel as if I am uncovering a secret of Auroville. Delicious pizza at Sean’s follows the cosmic meditation.
Day 30 – February 27, 2009 – Friday
In the afternoon I painted the Discipline bathroom and swept the floor of the main kitchen area. Before and after, I chilled at Sean and Lukas’ place in Windarra. I went to Richy’s alone for dinner, picked up Spanish Delight ice cream, and went to Tina’s to cheer her up. I couldn’t stay for long though – I got to her place at 7 and I had an appointment to be at the Youth Center at 8, where I led spirit journeys for a group of eight. Jan David brought his drum, mats were provided, music was shut off, and we went out into the forested area to explore our imaginations. Lucas couldn’t find his animal on the first trip, and Nikolai couldn’t even find the underworld, stuck in his tunnel. After everyone shared their stories we did another journey, and this time everyone had a successful journey. Nikolai had to find stones in his tunnel to remove, and Lucas just had to explore a bit more. Afterward I went back to Kailash with Lucas, we each took a shot of Brandy, then began our aimless drive to Pondicherry to find a house party. Luckily we reached someone on the way who knew how to get there. Arriving, it was completely packed, the music was loud, dancing intense, and there was a table with buckets full of alcoholic mixed drinks and straws for people to re-use. Sloppy night!
Thirty Days – First Month Experience
Arriving in India I recall being amazed at how different the culture is, but arriving in Auroville and exploring its mystery has been more than just a stroll through paradise. The United States was once known as the land of opportunity, and today that statement still holds true, although to a different degree depending on your class. Hey, Tony Montana made it from rags to riches in America, so anybody can. But in Auroville, where everything is dirt cheap, where everyone strives for greater communal harmony and a more perfect society – I have never seen a land with more opportunity and potential than here.
Auroville is no typical city. With 2000 residents and about 8000 guests and visitors, Auroville is 30% Indian, and 70% European. There are about 25,000 Tamil natives in the region that choose not to affiliate with Auroville, and assimilating them is a project on its own. Hitching a ride in this unusually friendly town is a cinch – with about a hundred rides on the backs of strangers, I’ve grown particularly fond of the free ride. I always strike up a conversation, and I meet some very interesting people during my brief rides from place to place. People usually smile as they drive by, and I often hear people say, “good morning,” or “afternoon.” The friendly atmosphere is perfect for me – I always want to greet strangers with an open heart even if there is no intention for conversation, but America seems to find such behavior odd. Everyone is America is too stressed about money and deadlines to show compassion to random sidewalk strangers. But here, there is enough love for everyone, and all seem open to new friendships.
There is a mysterious air about Auroville. I feel like I am the main character in an epic adventure game, trekking through India and Auroville on a path to uncover a timeless secret. I felt like I was close to uncovering a great truth last night when I walked up to Matrimandir in the evening for meditation. Light reflected off the wet golden discs, and Matrimandir seemed alive, organic, like a seed about to crack open. I walked closer and noticed that I was alone, then sat by the lotus pond directly underneath Matrimandir. Water ran over every petal of the lotus pond, the first time I had seen it running. My solo meditation expedition under the golden ball of conscious awakening that unifies Auroville turned out to be a very special experience.
Auroville is my sanctuary of love and light, a place for me to open my heart, learn, teach, work, play, and interact with incredible people and projects. I’ve had tremendous spiritual progress in the first month, but I need to work on having a better balance between chilling with friends and partying and spending time on self-improvement. If I want to attain Nirvana in this life, then I must step it up. I have spent enough lifetimes indulging my senses and my ego. The world is on the brink, and if anyone’s going to save the world from suffering it’s best to be self-reliant. I’m coming, but not the me you think I am.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Balancing Spiritual and Social Life
Day 20 - February 17, 2009 - Tuesday
After all the regular morning jazz I went to an intermediate yoga class, set up my mat, and got ready for an intense work out. Tina was supposed to meet me but she seemed late - and when she showed up she pulled me out of class saying that Karl was outside and we should all head to the beach. I was reluctant but... it's the beach. Turned out to be an epic beach session with beer, fruit, juice, wrestling in the water and on the sand, shoulder stands, Tina-push-ups, superwoman, flying swan-Tina, and more fun adventures. Afterwards the three of us went over to a ballroom dance class lead by Hannes for some Cha Cha Cha, Waltz, and Rumba practice. I had a great time and there were a lot of cute girls but I'd rather learn the tango. Tina drove me to Denish Special on her way home, then I walked the rest of the way singing loudly.
Day 21 - February 18, 2009 - Wednesday
One day of pleasure leads to one of utter pain. I woke up feeling fine at 6:45am, and standing up from my bed a wave of soreness flooded my limbs. My arms and legs have never felt so sore even after 2-hour weightlifting sessions. Walking to Matrimandir was torturous, but singing the whole way there mitigated the pain by diverting my attention from bodily pain to sweet sounds floating through the air, lifted by the wind like smoke. I told Jonny of my debilitated state and he took me to do wood working anyway - where I made feeble attempts to be useful, read my book, and napped. It was embarrassing and I feel that it was inappropriate for Jonny to take me to the fields for woodworking. Anyway. Later in the day I hitched to Matrimandir and then showed my driver, who was new to Auroville, around the park with my special access privileges. I went home and chilled out for a bit, then Manimaran picked me up for a Pondicherry session where I got a cell phone. I didn't see any friends today, so combined with my soreness this was the worst day yet.
Day 22 - February 19, 2009 - Thursday
I wake feeling happy again, still a little sore but mostly better. At the pump house where all the wood is stored, Manimaran gave me a sim card for my phone. Social boundaries breaking down, I can now call and meet up and hang out with so many more people! After some work at Discipline, a solar kitchen lunch with the krew, Richy's for ice cream, and swimming in the pool with Tina, I went to mixed level yoga under Tatiana. Tina came too. This was my best class yet, and I held sustained visions while performing the asanas. After a Ganesh bakery dinner with Tina and Hue, the lady and I went to Sean and Lukas' for a chill session, followed by Toby's birthday kick it at his house. I had some good philosophical talks with Jan David and Felix, and the drum circle that followed was incredible, although some angry lady shut us down.
Day 23 - February 20, 2009
Spent the morning cutting down and transporting banana trees. They caught some disease so the bananas wouldn't ever be ripe. Karl, Lukas and I moved some granite pillars under their huts to be placed as extra support underneath. In the afternoon I meditated under the banyan tree and thought about what I wanted to spirit journey on, and it hit me: how can I open my heart?
In the journey I walked down to a large redwood, took hold of Matt and Kwame who were sitting underneath, and pulled them down with me to purifying waters below. We sprinkle weed on the water and spin, causing a cyclone of weed-water and ourselves to merge into one. We shoot down the water tunnel and into the underworld, up the large palm tree, and fly off as Bird. I ask my animals to show me how to open my heart, and to help me open it. I turn into Snake, dive down, and split into a second snake that forms a heart shape with the first one for a brief moment before merging back into one. Splitting and merging happens repeatedly, every time forming a heart shape. Then I fly off as Bird but dual-snake heart keeps coming out of me from above and below as I fly. As Bird and Two Snakes, Fish propels me into space. Bird becomes huge, carrying a Snake in each talon, one by the Sun, one by the Moon. The Snakes absorb the corresponding energies and we come back down to earth. A golden ball similar to Matrimandir rises up out of the ground into the air, then settles full size on the ground. Snake examines the ball, taps the sides, and approves. One Snake on the far side, one near, they release their stored Sun & Moon energy upon the golden discs of Matrimandir. Burning bright light shines through the sun-hole on the roof into the crystal ball in the middle, which radiates blinding white light throughout the meditation chamber. A deity appears from above, SUPERMIND, and it caresses me along my chakras and under my chin. I thank my animals and the deity for their wisdom and return rapidly through the water tunnel to the redwood tree, where Matt and Kwame and I dance in a circle.
After the spirit journey and reflecting upon it I kicked it at Kailash for a bit with Karl, Lucas and Laura. Laura opened up to me, before she had seemed shy and refused to speak anything but German around me. It's nice to see her humanity coming out. Toby had another b'day kick it, and I played the cube with him.
Day 24 - February 21, 2009 - Saturday
In the afternoon I went to Tatiana's 2-hour intermediate yoga class. It was difficult and very helpful, I loved every moment. After pizza night at the Youth Center, Sean, Lukas, Tina and I had ice cream at Richy Rich before heading to a Shrima beach party. It was coconut rum night, and it was also Mother's birthday so I decided not to drink until after midnight when her birthday ended. She wasn't too fond of alcohol and I wanted to respect her birthday by not drinking. People were mostly very accepting of my decision. I met Isabella, and Felix, Ben, Johanna, and Karl were there along with the people I came with. We played drinking games like Topics where whoever drank last chooses a topic and u go around in a circle saying something that fits in the topic. Whoever messes up first drinks. After the games we swam in the ocean, which was so beautiful and warm at night. There was a lot of nakedness, which was fun. I was too drunk to find out where we came from to drop off my shorts so I remained clad in swimwear. I slept on the beach with Sean and Lukas.
Day 25 - February 22, 2009 - Sunday
Felix had a super amazing brunch at his place in Buddha Garden. There were 8-10 people, bread, cheese, fruit salad, peanut butter, nutella, cookies, salami, tea, and more. I created the bread-nutella-papaya chunks combo, which was amazing. After preparing in Newlands for a lake outing, 9 ninjas on 5 bikes took an absolutely gorgeous drive to a lake 12km away. We stopped to stock up on drinks and to peep some vampire bats. The lake session was epic: tree climbing, strolls around the perimeter, frisbee, campfire, barbeque. Sean lost the key to his petroleum tank while we were gathering firewood, and he was skeptical about even searching for it, but Tina and I were determined. While Tina asked Tamil natives to help us search, I spotted the key near our campfire location. Good save. A Tamil native helped me gather firewood which was such a beautiful act to me, this boy I did not know spending his time to help a stranger without even being asked. Unfortunately I got a headache in the evening and had to remove myself from the group for a long time, but Hannes ended up healing me with a neck massage.
Day 26 - February 23, 2009 - Monday
My morning banyan tree meditation started the day off right. I forgot sunscreen while doing wood-work so I got burnt out very quickly, and Jonny didn't seem happy with my level of exertion. My skin wasn't very happy, as it turned bright red. But I was happy. Life here is so incredible. Hitching in the evening from a beach session with Tina to La Terrace, I rode with a man named Paul Vincent, a 38-year resident of Auroville. We had an amazing talk about his work with the Auroville Administration, how AV is on the verge of failing and tourists are polluting the atmosphere, how the current AV government is run by "fools" on a power trip, how he's working on a new government structure, and how AV seeks to be without money. He also recommended that I read The Dream by Mother, detailing her vision of utopia. It's incredible to meet such people when riding on the backs of strangers. La Terrace had some live music which was very beautiful and got me very relaxed. Tina, Sean, Lukas, Toby and I went to the field for a chill session. I entered a supercosmic state of mind and had to neglect conversation towards the end. My walk home was deeply meditative and rejuvenating for my soul.
Day 27 - February 24, 2009
There was no work today, so I had breakfast at Town Hall then met up with Laxman to rent a bike. The whole process of renting was smooth and simple, and he gave me a free map of the town. Finally I have my own transportation - a funky little TVS moped that actually goes pretty fast. After getting some petro and a soda in Kuilapalayam I went into CSR, the research center, and had an interview with Min. He wants me to help him work on an eco footprint project where we design a label for eco-friendly products similar to the organic label, and begin pushing eco-friendly, zero-carbon emissions manufacturing throughout the region and even the world. Sounds like a great project for me, I'm very excited. After Lunch with Tom and two boys from Upasana working on fashion design and eco-friendly handbags, I chilled upstairs with Tina and Margaret and discussed genetically modified foods. They were both very against GMO, but I said that the experimentation is a good thing even if widespread GMO has some negative effects. Every technology has good and bas uses, but we shouldn't let the bad aspects prevent us from exploration. They have genetically engineered a goat that produces milk with certain hormones that cure a disease in humans. Where will it go next? And why is genetic manipulation "unnatural?" Technology is part of the evolution of consciousness, and as we humans are part of nature, so are our manifestations. However, I do understand that we pollute Nature and do not live sustainably; that we need to make a change.
A long banyan tree meditation was followed by an attempt at yoga, but the teacher broke her collarbone and thus will be out of commission for at least a week. Tina was supposed to meet up with me at yoga but I was very early so I went to her place to let her know. She was asleep, so I left a note and returned home for a nap. I had broccoli quiche and salad ($2) for dinner at the Visitor Center, then met up with Sean and Tina there. The three of us rode on my TVS (how ironic that the man with no transportation is now transporting the whole crew) back to Sean's place. The ride was hilarious. We made a Tina Sandwich and she talked about how the ride was making her horny, and Sean came in clutch with a comment that made us laugh the rest of the way to his place. Lukas joined us for the chill session.
Day 28 - February 25, 2009 - Wednesday
Lunch with Tomas and Edo at Solar Kitchen was followed by a long banyan tree meditation and plenty of reading. I borrowed Jonny's book by Sri Aurobindo called Thoughts and Aphorisms, which contained some very intense wisdom and radical ideas. Tina, Sean and I sandwiched up again for a ride to the beach, and we stopped along the way so Sean could get his bike, which was fixed after more than two weeks. The beach was very chill, and we followed it up with a lovely dinner at Paradise Pizzeria. We left for La Terrace, I sped ahead and arrived at the destination, but I felt a bad energy and turned around. On the way to LT, I passed a huge truck full of hay and straw, and I recall thinking that it looked like an accident waiting to happen. Driving back I knew that something had gone wrong, I just hoped that Sean's bike failed again. On the tar road there was some hay on the floor, but I kept driving. Sean and Tina passed me in a car looking shaken up, and Tina said they got in an accident. I followed them to the health center. Tina scratched up both ankles pretty bad, and Sean broke a toe. I tried to help Tina with her pain as a nurse cleaned her up, then the three of us got a ride to Pims Hospital for xrays and prescriptions. I got ice cream for the three of us and we ate it in the operating room. I am proud of my friends for having such good energy after their accident.
After all the regular morning jazz I went to an intermediate yoga class, set up my mat, and got ready for an intense work out. Tina was supposed to meet me but she seemed late - and when she showed up she pulled me out of class saying that Karl was outside and we should all head to the beach. I was reluctant but... it's the beach. Turned out to be an epic beach session with beer, fruit, juice, wrestling in the water and on the sand, shoulder stands, Tina-push-ups, superwoman, flying swan-Tina, and more fun adventures. Afterwards the three of us went over to a ballroom dance class lead by Hannes for some Cha Cha Cha, Waltz, and Rumba practice. I had a great time and there were a lot of cute girls but I'd rather learn the tango. Tina drove me to Denish Special on her way home, then I walked the rest of the way singing loudly.
Day 21 - February 18, 2009 - Wednesday
One day of pleasure leads to one of utter pain. I woke up feeling fine at 6:45am, and standing up from my bed a wave of soreness flooded my limbs. My arms and legs have never felt so sore even after 2-hour weightlifting sessions. Walking to Matrimandir was torturous, but singing the whole way there mitigated the pain by diverting my attention from bodily pain to sweet sounds floating through the air, lifted by the wind like smoke. I told Jonny of my debilitated state and he took me to do wood working anyway - where I made feeble attempts to be useful, read my book, and napped. It was embarrassing and I feel that it was inappropriate for Jonny to take me to the fields for woodworking. Anyway. Later in the day I hitched to Matrimandir and then showed my driver, who was new to Auroville, around the park with my special access privileges. I went home and chilled out for a bit, then Manimaran picked me up for a Pondicherry session where I got a cell phone. I didn't see any friends today, so combined with my soreness this was the worst day yet.
Day 22 - February 19, 2009 - Thursday
I wake feeling happy again, still a little sore but mostly better. At the pump house where all the wood is stored, Manimaran gave me a sim card for my phone. Social boundaries breaking down, I can now call and meet up and hang out with so many more people! After some work at Discipline, a solar kitchen lunch with the krew, Richy's for ice cream, and swimming in the pool with Tina, I went to mixed level yoga under Tatiana. Tina came too. This was my best class yet, and I held sustained visions while performing the asanas. After a Ganesh bakery dinner with Tina and Hue, the lady and I went to Sean and Lukas' for a chill session, followed by Toby's birthday kick it at his house. I had some good philosophical talks with Jan David and Felix, and the drum circle that followed was incredible, although some angry lady shut us down.
Day 23 - February 20, 2009
Spent the morning cutting down and transporting banana trees. They caught some disease so the bananas wouldn't ever be ripe. Karl, Lukas and I moved some granite pillars under their huts to be placed as extra support underneath. In the afternoon I meditated under the banyan tree and thought about what I wanted to spirit journey on, and it hit me: how can I open my heart?
In the journey I walked down to a large redwood, took hold of Matt and Kwame who were sitting underneath, and pulled them down with me to purifying waters below. We sprinkle weed on the water and spin, causing a cyclone of weed-water and ourselves to merge into one. We shoot down the water tunnel and into the underworld, up the large palm tree, and fly off as Bird. I ask my animals to show me how to open my heart, and to help me open it. I turn into Snake, dive down, and split into a second snake that forms a heart shape with the first one for a brief moment before merging back into one. Splitting and merging happens repeatedly, every time forming a heart shape. Then I fly off as Bird but dual-snake heart keeps coming out of me from above and below as I fly. As Bird and Two Snakes, Fish propels me into space. Bird becomes huge, carrying a Snake in each talon, one by the Sun, one by the Moon. The Snakes absorb the corresponding energies and we come back down to earth. A golden ball similar to Matrimandir rises up out of the ground into the air, then settles full size on the ground. Snake examines the ball, taps the sides, and approves. One Snake on the far side, one near, they release their stored Sun & Moon energy upon the golden discs of Matrimandir. Burning bright light shines through the sun-hole on the roof into the crystal ball in the middle, which radiates blinding white light throughout the meditation chamber. A deity appears from above, SUPERMIND, and it caresses me along my chakras and under my chin. I thank my animals and the deity for their wisdom and return rapidly through the water tunnel to the redwood tree, where Matt and Kwame and I dance in a circle.
After the spirit journey and reflecting upon it I kicked it at Kailash for a bit with Karl, Lucas and Laura. Laura opened up to me, before she had seemed shy and refused to speak anything but German around me. It's nice to see her humanity coming out. Toby had another b'day kick it, and I played the cube with him.
Day 24 - February 21, 2009 - Saturday
In the afternoon I went to Tatiana's 2-hour intermediate yoga class. It was difficult and very helpful, I loved every moment. After pizza night at the Youth Center, Sean, Lukas, Tina and I had ice cream at Richy Rich before heading to a Shrima beach party. It was coconut rum night, and it was also Mother's birthday so I decided not to drink until after midnight when her birthday ended. She wasn't too fond of alcohol and I wanted to respect her birthday by not drinking. People were mostly very accepting of my decision. I met Isabella, and Felix, Ben, Johanna, and Karl were there along with the people I came with. We played drinking games like Topics where whoever drank last chooses a topic and u go around in a circle saying something that fits in the topic. Whoever messes up first drinks. After the games we swam in the ocean, which was so beautiful and warm at night. There was a lot of nakedness, which was fun. I was too drunk to find out where we came from to drop off my shorts so I remained clad in swimwear. I slept on the beach with Sean and Lukas.
Day 25 - February 22, 2009 - Sunday
Felix had a super amazing brunch at his place in Buddha Garden. There were 8-10 people, bread, cheese, fruit salad, peanut butter, nutella, cookies, salami, tea, and more. I created the bread-nutella-papaya chunks combo, which was amazing. After preparing in Newlands for a lake outing, 9 ninjas on 5 bikes took an absolutely gorgeous drive to a lake 12km away. We stopped to stock up on drinks and to peep some vampire bats. The lake session was epic: tree climbing, strolls around the perimeter, frisbee, campfire, barbeque. Sean lost the key to his petroleum tank while we were gathering firewood, and he was skeptical about even searching for it, but Tina and I were determined. While Tina asked Tamil natives to help us search, I spotted the key near our campfire location. Good save. A Tamil native helped me gather firewood which was such a beautiful act to me, this boy I did not know spending his time to help a stranger without even being asked. Unfortunately I got a headache in the evening and had to remove myself from the group for a long time, but Hannes ended up healing me with a neck massage.
Day 26 - February 23, 2009 - Monday
My morning banyan tree meditation started the day off right. I forgot sunscreen while doing wood-work so I got burnt out very quickly, and Jonny didn't seem happy with my level of exertion. My skin wasn't very happy, as it turned bright red. But I was happy. Life here is so incredible. Hitching in the evening from a beach session with Tina to La Terrace, I rode with a man named Paul Vincent, a 38-year resident of Auroville. We had an amazing talk about his work with the Auroville Administration, how AV is on the verge of failing and tourists are polluting the atmosphere, how the current AV government is run by "fools" on a power trip, how he's working on a new government structure, and how AV seeks to be without money. He also recommended that I read The Dream by Mother, detailing her vision of utopia. It's incredible to meet such people when riding on the backs of strangers. La Terrace had some live music which was very beautiful and got me very relaxed. Tina, Sean, Lukas, Toby and I went to the field for a chill session. I entered a supercosmic state of mind and had to neglect conversation towards the end. My walk home was deeply meditative and rejuvenating for my soul.
Day 27 - February 24, 2009
There was no work today, so I had breakfast at Town Hall then met up with Laxman to rent a bike. The whole process of renting was smooth and simple, and he gave me a free map of the town. Finally I have my own transportation - a funky little TVS moped that actually goes pretty fast. After getting some petro and a soda in Kuilapalayam I went into CSR, the research center, and had an interview with Min. He wants me to help him work on an eco footprint project where we design a label for eco-friendly products similar to the organic label, and begin pushing eco-friendly, zero-carbon emissions manufacturing throughout the region and even the world. Sounds like a great project for me, I'm very excited. After Lunch with Tom and two boys from Upasana working on fashion design and eco-friendly handbags, I chilled upstairs with Tina and Margaret and discussed genetically modified foods. They were both very against GMO, but I said that the experimentation is a good thing even if widespread GMO has some negative effects. Every technology has good and bas uses, but we shouldn't let the bad aspects prevent us from exploration. They have genetically engineered a goat that produces milk with certain hormones that cure a disease in humans. Where will it go next? And why is genetic manipulation "unnatural?" Technology is part of the evolution of consciousness, and as we humans are part of nature, so are our manifestations. However, I do understand that we pollute Nature and do not live sustainably; that we need to make a change.
A long banyan tree meditation was followed by an attempt at yoga, but the teacher broke her collarbone and thus will be out of commission for at least a week. Tina was supposed to meet up with me at yoga but I was very early so I went to her place to let her know. She was asleep, so I left a note and returned home for a nap. I had broccoli quiche and salad ($2) for dinner at the Visitor Center, then met up with Sean and Tina there. The three of us rode on my TVS (how ironic that the man with no transportation is now transporting the whole crew) back to Sean's place. The ride was hilarious. We made a Tina Sandwich and she talked about how the ride was making her horny, and Sean came in clutch with a comment that made us laugh the rest of the way to his place. Lukas joined us for the chill session.
Day 28 - February 25, 2009 - Wednesday
Lunch with Tomas and Edo at Solar Kitchen was followed by a long banyan tree meditation and plenty of reading. I borrowed Jonny's book by Sri Aurobindo called Thoughts and Aphorisms, which contained some very intense wisdom and radical ideas. Tina, Sean and I sandwiched up again for a ride to the beach, and we stopped along the way so Sean could get his bike, which was fixed after more than two weeks. The beach was very chill, and we followed it up with a lovely dinner at Paradise Pizzeria. We left for La Terrace, I sped ahead and arrived at the destination, but I felt a bad energy and turned around. On the way to LT, I passed a huge truck full of hay and straw, and I recall thinking that it looked like an accident waiting to happen. Driving back I knew that something had gone wrong, I just hoped that Sean's bike failed again. On the tar road there was some hay on the floor, but I kept driving. Sean and Tina passed me in a car looking shaken up, and Tina said they got in an accident. I followed them to the health center. Tina scratched up both ankles pretty bad, and Sean broke a toe. I tried to help Tina with her pain as a nurse cleaned her up, then the three of us got a ride to Pims Hospital for xrays and prescriptions. I got ice cream for the three of us and we ate it in the operating room. I am proud of my friends for having such good energy after their accident.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Accelerating Adventure
Day 17, February 14, 2009 – Saturday – Valentine’s Day
In the morning I made Valentines for Jonny, Sean, and Tina. After some random morning events, a large group lunch at solar kitchen, and a field session with Sean and Tina, I walked over to the Supermind conference. I heard the last two presentations of the day – on the experimental mind and synthetic thinking. The topics were interesting and the speakers shared interesting stories, but I felt that certain areas should have been delved into deeper. The questions afterward brought out some interesting new characters and ideas. I felt like I should have been at the podium explaining my philosophy on how to bring Superman down to physical manifestation in this world. Tina drove Sean over to the Youth Center, so Sean lent me his bicycle. Shortly after hopping on, the chain came off and I had to walk the rest of the way. The Youth Center held the Love Circus, an annual festival with rides, good food, live music, and a great community atmosphere. I met some awesome people, including Nyle, two Johns, and Krishna. Nyle and I spoke for about 45 minutes on the supermind, Daniel Pinchbeck, psychedelics, shamanism, the transition and evolution of consciousness to higher states, 2012, and much more. One of the Johns I met was from Monterey in California, and we talked for a good bit about how he is a guide on the Himalayas and how amazing Auroville is. The French Reggae band came on at 9pm and rocked out hard, tons of people were dancing. Afterwards the kids started up their own dance party in the back, first in the chill area, then around the fire pit. Epic night indeed. I didn’t really talk to Tina at all since I was getting weird vibes from her. Matthias pulled me aside and told me about this shaman lady who lives in Auroville and he gave me her basic info. I definitely have to contact her! Matthias and I had an incredible conversation that night and we really bonded over our mutual distaste for decadence and the general attitude at parties. He gave me props when he found me reading at the love circus. We talked a little about how we feel disconnected from most people since we are so spiritually inclined and how it’s so hard to find others who can relate. Matthias is very wise considering he is 19. He drove me home, and as I arrived at 4am Jonny was just waking to start his day.
Day 18, February 15, 2009 – Sunday
Waking up in the morning I felt hung over despite not drinking the night before. Five hours of sleep really doesn’t cut it for me. After meeting Jonny at Matrimandir we went to La Terrace, got a snack, and napped in the shade on the roof. After lunch Jonny took me inside Matrimandir for the second time. We tried to find out why there were certain streaks of light coming out of the gigantic crystal ball that aren’t supposed to be there. We inspected the meditation chamber and the roof and the sunray-mirror system but we couldn’t identify the cause of the mystery. After meditating in the inner chamber, I left for a chill session at Sean’s. Dining at Ganesh bakery, Sean and I met this shaman dude named Hue and we had an interesting conversation. I hope to see that guy again. Afterward, Sean and I walked to Discipline to play a board game, but as the current was off we had no light so we walked back taking turns placing the huge board on our heads. We saw some beautiful horses on the way back, including a white one that came out of nowhere and was about ten feet away. I felt like it was Tina’s spirit animal, her presence, since I had seen her every day for the past seven days and today was the first day without her. I couldn’t even finish one round of the game as I was so tired. Lukas came back and took my spot while I passed out hard.
Day 19 – February 16, 2009 – Monday
There was no work since one of Jonny’s Tamil worker’s grandparent died and so all the wood workers were having a ceremony. Despite the dreary circumstances of my free time I was finally able to go to morning yoga again. Ursula, a fellow yoga-mate, brought me to solar kitchen afterwards. I ate with Jonny and Rosa, an elderly Russian lady who works inside Matrimandir cleaning and beautifying. When my ninja crew arrived I switched to their table. All of the negative energy I felt from Tina over the past three days dissipated when she greeted me with a silly grin and pleasant conversation. Sitting next to me was Edo (sp?), we met and had a nice little chat. After moving logs and spreading dead leaves over the bases of new trees for shade at the Youth Center, I hitched over to Repos beach and read poetry by Rumi while waiting for Sean and Tina. Sean came, and we chilled on the beach. Tina joined us with a lot of energy and ready to swim. We ran and jumped into the ocean, which gave me the burst of energy I needed to get out of my lethargic state of super-chill-mode. We played some epic games in the warm, salty water. I picked Tina up to throw her and as she launched forward she kicked her heel back and nailed me in the balls, paralyzing me for five minutes. After more beach chillage we went to Pizzeria Trattoria. Matthias Matse chilled with us there for a bit – I really like that kid. We’re on the same page. Tina, Sean and I tried to get into Matrimandir after, but as it was late and we were obviously not there to work we had to go to the fields instead for a chill session. Sean drove me home to Newlands after we said farewell to our third mate, the gypsy.
Recently I've gotten some very good feedback that I am doing too much summarizing. I mean, I am mostly copying from the bullet points in my journal. I was told that my writing should be "more poetic," which is great. I just don't know how to do that without spending a considerable amount of time writing. I'll continue to summarize my days, but I'll also do a monthly rundown of my experience with more fanciful rhetoric .
In the morning I made Valentines for Jonny, Sean, and Tina. After some random morning events, a large group lunch at solar kitchen, and a field session with Sean and Tina, I walked over to the Supermind conference. I heard the last two presentations of the day – on the experimental mind and synthetic thinking. The topics were interesting and the speakers shared interesting stories, but I felt that certain areas should have been delved into deeper. The questions afterward brought out some interesting new characters and ideas. I felt like I should have been at the podium explaining my philosophy on how to bring Superman down to physical manifestation in this world. Tina drove Sean over to the Youth Center, so Sean lent me his bicycle. Shortly after hopping on, the chain came off and I had to walk the rest of the way. The Youth Center held the Love Circus, an annual festival with rides, good food, live music, and a great community atmosphere. I met some awesome people, including Nyle, two Johns, and Krishna. Nyle and I spoke for about 45 minutes on the supermind, Daniel Pinchbeck, psychedelics, shamanism, the transition and evolution of consciousness to higher states, 2012, and much more. One of the Johns I met was from Monterey in California, and we talked for a good bit about how he is a guide on the Himalayas and how amazing Auroville is. The French Reggae band came on at 9pm and rocked out hard, tons of people were dancing. Afterwards the kids started up their own dance party in the back, first in the chill area, then around the fire pit. Epic night indeed. I didn’t really talk to Tina at all since I was getting weird vibes from her. Matthias pulled me aside and told me about this shaman lady who lives in Auroville and he gave me her basic info. I definitely have to contact her! Matthias and I had an incredible conversation that night and we really bonded over our mutual distaste for decadence and the general attitude at parties. He gave me props when he found me reading at the love circus. We talked a little about how we feel disconnected from most people since we are so spiritually inclined and how it’s so hard to find others who can relate. Matthias is very wise considering he is 19. He drove me home, and as I arrived at 4am Jonny was just waking to start his day.
Day 18, February 15, 2009 – Sunday
Waking up in the morning I felt hung over despite not drinking the night before. Five hours of sleep really doesn’t cut it for me. After meeting Jonny at Matrimandir we went to La Terrace, got a snack, and napped in the shade on the roof. After lunch Jonny took me inside Matrimandir for the second time. We tried to find out why there were certain streaks of light coming out of the gigantic crystal ball that aren’t supposed to be there. We inspected the meditation chamber and the roof and the sunray-mirror system but we couldn’t identify the cause of the mystery. After meditating in the inner chamber, I left for a chill session at Sean’s. Dining at Ganesh bakery, Sean and I met this shaman dude named Hue and we had an interesting conversation. I hope to see that guy again. Afterward, Sean and I walked to Discipline to play a board game, but as the current was off we had no light so we walked back taking turns placing the huge board on our heads. We saw some beautiful horses on the way back, including a white one that came out of nowhere and was about ten feet away. I felt like it was Tina’s spirit animal, her presence, since I had seen her every day for the past seven days and today was the first day without her. I couldn’t even finish one round of the game as I was so tired. Lukas came back and took my spot while I passed out hard.
Day 19 – February 16, 2009 – Monday
There was no work since one of Jonny’s Tamil worker’s grandparent died and so all the wood workers were having a ceremony. Despite the dreary circumstances of my free time I was finally able to go to morning yoga again. Ursula, a fellow yoga-mate, brought me to solar kitchen afterwards. I ate with Jonny and Rosa, an elderly Russian lady who works inside Matrimandir cleaning and beautifying. When my ninja crew arrived I switched to their table. All of the negative energy I felt from Tina over the past three days dissipated when she greeted me with a silly grin and pleasant conversation. Sitting next to me was Edo (sp?), we met and had a nice little chat. After moving logs and spreading dead leaves over the bases of new trees for shade at the Youth Center, I hitched over to Repos beach and read poetry by Rumi while waiting for Sean and Tina. Sean came, and we chilled on the beach. Tina joined us with a lot of energy and ready to swim. We ran and jumped into the ocean, which gave me the burst of energy I needed to get out of my lethargic state of super-chill-mode. We played some epic games in the warm, salty water. I picked Tina up to throw her and as she launched forward she kicked her heel back and nailed me in the balls, paralyzing me for five minutes. After more beach chillage we went to Pizzeria Trattoria. Matthias Matse chilled with us there for a bit – I really like that kid. We’re on the same page. Tina, Sean and I tried to get into Matrimandir after, but as it was late and we were obviously not there to work we had to go to the fields instead for a chill session. Sean drove me home to Newlands after we said farewell to our third mate, the gypsy.
Recently I've gotten some very good feedback that I am doing too much summarizing. I mean, I am mostly copying from the bullet points in my journal. I was told that my writing should be "more poetic," which is great. I just don't know how to do that without spending a considerable amount of time writing. I'll continue to summarize my days, but I'll also do a monthly rundown of my experience with more fanciful rhetoric .
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