Increasing my options

The past few day's I've been coming to a lot of realizations about how I want to spend my time.

While studying under the guidance of a super shaman would be the ideal way to spend my time, it's starting to seem less practical. I should make sure that I am not just working on random farms searching through distant lands to find a guide. I could do that, and I'm sure the trip would be fun, but I'm starting to see so many more opportunities that are much more appealing and vibrant than merely working some standard farm.

I applied to various spiritual US farms through WWOOF, a few Buddhist monasteries for work exchange, the Peyote Way Church of God for an internship, a spiritual ecovillage in India named Auroville, and a yoga farm in California. Notice how everything mentioned has a spiritual tint? Obviously, enhancing my overall spiritual understanding is more important that merely finding a shaman guide. Perhaps the shaman I find will suck. It could take years to find a super shaman. While I'd love to travel for years, I only have $4,000 saved up, and $105,000 in student loans to pay off. I'd like to become a healer and save the world, but it seems like the world would rather have me make money.

It hit me that my last semester of NYU was perfect. I had a girlfriend, two amazing, intelligent, fun roommates, three easy and fun classes, two of which were art related. I had an impeccability chart which helped me to fulfill my daily goals, including reading an hour, meditating 30 minutes, eating three times; and weekly goals of exercising three times, smoking hookah only once, and having up to four alcoholic beverages. Having fun, socializing, partying, doing homework, working for Curriki, sleeping, watching Heroes and movies, and creating art were also activities that filled my days, but those on the impeccability chart took precedence. My first week with the chart I made about 14 mistakes, but week by week I reduced the number of mistakes. The best I've done is a week with only one mistake (not reading for an hour one day). I was super productive, super happy, able to attend yoga frequently, and I had nothing to stress me out. I made money for my adventure with Curriki, and my father was able to support my student loans and costs of living while finishing school. Life was great.

He can no longer afford to support me, except for giving me a place to stay and eat. It's my responsibility now as a college graduate to take care of myself financially, and I plan on fulfilling that responsibility. While traveling. While continuing yoga and meditating. While learning to build a sustainable community. While searching for a shaman. While exploring my creative side.

Do I need to make extra money for my trip? Not immediately, my father postponed my $750/month loan and is working on postponing my $200/month loan. I can cover $200 a month till I get a job. I can also ask him to help me with that for a few months as a graduation / birthday / final semester of study abroad education gift. However, after a couple months, I will definitely need a salaried job if I am to pay off my student loans. I don't care about ever having to hold a dollar of income in my hand. If my work eventually pays for accomodations in a spiritual community, food, and a stipend that covers my student loans, that's all I would ever need in terms of money. Maybe I really can live the dream...